When Love Spells F-A-I-L

Been hearing and reading a lot of inklings and expressions on relationships, heart breaks and moving on, but what really caught my attention is the tag line:

YUNG NAGMO-MOVE ON KA,

PERO HINDI NAGING KAYO.

Kudos to the bitter one whoever made that provoking line. Some people may have an aww-can-relate impression pertaining to that, others may find it funny, that haha-oo-nga-noh attitude but let's all face it. It may seem pathetic, but that's the reality nowadays.

This blog is not made to explain the possible heart-breaking stories behind to create such a profound statement. What I'm concern most is the fact that the world has indeed distorted the definition of love, even the role of men and women when it comes to relationships.

What's the point of all of this? First things first. I may not be the person who has the answer to all failed relationships you've been into, for I myself have been part of it as well. Yes! But allow me to share you what I have learned from my experiences so far. 

For the Men and Women

1. You are loved. Can you say that aloud? YOU. ARE. LOVED. You are so precious that your worth is far more precious than any jewels and gold. You are purchased at an immeasurable price, at the price of nothing less than the blood of Christ. He loves you so much that He died for you. Don't you realize? Someone has already died for you.

"Patay na patay ako sa'yo"  

 - cheap, fancy thrill of men

"Namatay ako para sa'yo"   

- genuine expression of the Son of Man

See the difference?

2. You are loved. Just in case you missed point number 1.

3. Love is a beautiful feeling. But it's more than that. Love is a Person. Love is Him. Love is not what you get out of a person, because love is the entire being of a person. He/She is the ultimate expression of God's love, for he/she is created in His image. When you have found him/her, love wholly. Love without reservation. Get rid of the what-ifs. Claim the even-ifs.

4. You are already complete. God has already made you whole (If this is not your case, you have to ask God to fill you more with His love and contentment). You don't find a partner to complete you, but rather, to complement you. If you're missing this point, I guess you're not ready yet for your next relationship.

For the Ladies

1. Never Assume. Until a guy expresses his interest, you are just friends. Just. Friends. Never interpret his actions as romantic overtures. Wait for him to drop the bomb. Patience is the word. Kaya nagmo-move kahit hindi kayo eh, nag-assume kasi.

2. Don't get tired of waiting. Make this season pro-active.  Cultivate your relationship with your friends and family. Learn to love the unlovable (this will surely eat up your time haha but is a very excellent exercise =D) and keep your walk in the Lord. Why?

3. Because a keeper or the right man can't be found in pubs or clubs. Walk in the Lord, walk where He leads you. And soon enough, you'll find someone walking beside you, maybe even ahead or behind you. =) That's the person who you wanna be with. 

4. The wrong person will be gaga over with your looks, but the right person looks at your heart. Believe me this works 100%. And through this you can easily distinguish a lamb from a wolf dressed in lamb's clothing. Hey hey, It doesn't mean that you need not to fix yourself or whatsoever. It's just that, you don't wanna have a guy who got attracted only by your figure and make-up, do you?

For the Guys

1. Speak up. Don't leave the girls hanging. Torpe is not found in God's dictionary. If your intention is not as strong as pursuing her to be your future partner, don't isolate her from the group. If you're not sure about her, be honest enough to tell her.

2. Define the line. Please do. Your first name is not Luke, and warm is not definitely your surname. Manligaw ka sa tama. Don't rely on non-verbal acts. Dahil kami, nakikiramdam din lang. You should have clear answers to these questions:

            What is this relationship?

          What are my intentions?

          Am I relaying the right intentions?

3. Guard her heart. But before that you should have yours guarded first. Treat ladies as your sisters. Don't tolerate her not-so-good and overly-good acts. Even if that would mean less sweetness between the two of you, do it. In the long run she will even thank you for doing such things and will gain more respect from her. Not to mention the pogi points. *winkwink*

4. Take the initiative. Lead her. Even if she's the type of woman who has a strong personality, deep inside her is a feminine heart who wants to be pursued, to be romanced. Take initiative even in conversations. Plan ahead of time. Don't ever make her feel the bahala-na-ano-mangyari-sa-date thing. Being spontaneous is not bad at all. But make her feel that she's worth the effort.

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If you are going to have a healthy relationship, you need to spend time alone with God. Paradoxically, those who have the healthiest relationship often are the most comfortable in being alone with God.

- Tom Holladay, The Relationship Principle of Jesus