You're Beautiful

Dear God,

Last night, I earnestly prayed for You to show me my beauty. My heart always says I am, but the world keeps on snatching away the truth on me. The fear that words inflict on me had wounded my soul to the very core. Sounds like in denial to me, I thought I was quite alright, not that affected by those abuses that I was part of. I'm used to it, see, since I was a kid. But last night was different, every message broke my heart, took me out in shame and ambivalence that actually shut down my feminine heart. And just last night, I received healing from You. You said that you sent Jesus to bind up those who are brokenhearted (Isa. 61:1). You said that You will give me a new heart, You will take out my stony, stubborn heart and give me a tender, responsive heart (Ez. 36:26). That's why last night I asked You to show me my beauty. Last night, was the first time I asked my Creator if there's so called beauty in me.

Today I woke up feeling refreshed and revived. I experienced tremendous headache few days ago and was  a little bit grouchy then, but seems like nothing has changed. Except for my grouchy-ness. To top it all, I received prayer requests over FB and viber that a.) My friend's Dad passed away this morning and, b.) My Pastor's wife was having an unusual chest pain that Pastor urgently brought her up to the hospital. I prayed for their complete healing and recovery and yes, I was aware that there are people who got serious problem than me so I just brushed it off, that uttered plea last night, that maybe, there will be a perfect time for me to pray that concern again. 

Lunch time came. As I was preparing myself back to the office, I saw myself in the mirror. And here I was, finding myself talking to You, making kulit. 

Lord, ano na? Sabi ko sa'yo kagabi show me my real beauty eh.. Bakit wala pa rin ako makita?

And just like a little child making lambing  to her Dad, I really never thought You will answer me right there and then. 

Your real beauty does not come from outward appearance, but your inner disposition -- your character. How you handle your afflictions today, that's how your beauty comes forth. Your beauty has been revealed through your concerns and care for your friends, the gracious kind that I delighted in. You, my child, are beautiful because you make others beautiful, by lifting their souls up, through your acts of encouragement. When you smile, you make people smile, and that's the best powder, blush-on, eye-liner or mascara ever known.

Woa. Thank you God. Please make me humble at your sight and make my beauty be ever captivating in Your eyes. You deserve all the honor and praises. It's not me, really, but You --  being reflected in my life. Make me more beautiful and use me to show Your beauty. Give me those set of eyes that will see beauty in all things and circumstances. You're the One who makes me beautiful. You are the One who makes everything beautiful.

Your beautiful daughter,

Jepjep xx

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1 Peter 3:3-4 ESV

Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious.