Last Chapter Episode 7: Life Application and Christology

I can only imagine that I have everything I need, power, wisdom, ultimate resource, yet abandoning that position because of love. Because of love, that wasn’t even returned after all the sacrifices that were made. It is so painful! In my own human brain, I cannot and will not even do this kind of nuisance! I could have just flicked my finger and poof! All the sins will be gone, all evil forces will come to end, and Satan will be doomed. This is just so nonsense to me. But then again, it brings me back to the truth that more than Him being Elohim, He is our YHWH – He is a personal God. Yes, the God who isn’t a far and distant God, but Someone who wants to stay close by your side and be personal to you, including our pains.

This hurts me all the more. That a personal God allowed His people to be hurt and suffer, even when you are so close to Him. That For the fact that I learned about Jesus as 100% man and 100% God while He was here on Earth, does not reconcile with my reality. This pertains to my first-born son who died at the age of 10 months old. I mean I do believe He is all-powerful, yes! He had 2 natures in one being, which is so impossible to believe or imagine. He even conquered death! He could’ve just let my son live, and we could have been happily serving Him right now, with our son Kahel. But why does He allow him to die? Why does He allow us to suffer like this? Like we are not bad people to be punished or to kid around. We have been faithfully serving Him, to the point of abandoning our plans and dreams just to follow His will. The fact that a virgin conceived and gave birth miraculously could even entail that Kahel’s case is so, so easy to be done.  He’s been my comrade and best friend yet after that thing happened, I started to become afraid to come before Him and because I feel that when I get close to Him once more; He will take away someone close to me again. It’s like I, myself experienced the feeling of disappointment of the apostles and His followers when He died. But then again, He always points me to the thing that kept me from being more angry with Him.

The cross. It was the cross, which He is directing me at. It was the cross that teaching me to appreciate humility and embrace the will of God for our lives. It was the cross that tells me, “yes, I do love you, this is how far I can go for you, and you can trust me again because the cross is not the end. Three days may be too long for you, but in 3 days (may it be 3 years or 3 decades, or whenever), you will see. Hold on, and you will see.”

There is comfort at the cross. Because of this, I learned that the God I serve, came down to Earth, and became like me, now capable of experiencing what I have been through. It is comforting to know and realize that the God I serve, who is always at the throne and is always in control, made Himself vulnerable, even up to the point of abandoning His only begotten Son, there at the cross, bearing all the shame and pain, with no any other plan but is always been the plan from the beginning, to fulfill the ultimate redemption of all man. Just to save me. Just for me to be included in the grand feast that He has been preparing and been waiting from the very beginning. Identifying with my hurts, and my suffering, He came down with the sole purpose of doing what the Father wanted. There is certainly comfort at the cross. Thank you, Jesus.

"My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength
of my heart and my portion forever"
-Psalm 73:26 (NIV)

-Excerpt from my reflections in Christ and the Cross, submitted to Gino Garcia, July 2017