Last Chapter Episode 4: μετάβαση (Transition)
Sooo. It has been a long time since I updated this blog. Been busy with my 23-unit Masters' load and last term and a couple of responsibilities on hand, but I admit, I still enjoy life. Knowing that there will be a new addition to the family.
Yes. I just dropped the bomb.
I am presently 19 weeks pregnant. I'm excited and afraid at the same time since it's gonna be our first baby. But then again, I am blessed that I am surrounded by mothers and mothers at heart that are willing to give their best advice on hand whenever I need to.
This new set of transition has brought me to new heights in terms of my walk with the One who gave us this gift. No wonder why He gave soon-to-be-mothers nine months to prepare for this little gift to be brought in the world. Physically, I am preparing as it is the obvious thing to be seen, but not just for myself but for my husband as well. He has been my pregnancy buddy right now and is happy with what we are going through (less the finances part lol). Emotional and mental transition are a constant struggle, the highs and lows due to hormonal changes affected my mood and affected my husband directly. Ha! I'm still a work in progress though. I know that God is using this opportunity for us, first-time parents, to overcome and enjoy the most important things over what-we-think-is-important things.
Well, what I hope the readers would learn about this post is the truth I also grasped during the marriage seminar we attended two weeks ago in relation with resolving conflicts. This issue isn't limited for married couples but those who are in any kind of relationship. So even if you're still single, hop in and absorb all the nuggets of wisdom you can have!
 |
| Ultrasound taken during my 7 weeks of pregnancy |
This new set of transition has brought me to new heights in terms of my walk with the One who gave us this gift. No wonder why He gave soon-to-be-mothers nine months to prepare for this little gift to be brought in the world. Physically, I am preparing as it is the obvious thing to be seen, but not just for myself but for my husband as well. He has been my pregnancy buddy right now and is happy with what we are going through (less the finances part lol). Emotional and mental transition are a constant struggle, the highs and lows due to hormonal changes affected my mood and affected my husband directly. Ha! I'm still a work in progress though. I know that God is using this opportunity for us, first-time parents, to overcome and enjoy the most important things over what-we-think-is-important things.
 |
| from HJ story.com |
Well, what I hope the readers would learn about this post is the truth I also grasped during the marriage seminar we attended two weeks ago in relation with resolving conflicts. This issue isn't limited for married couples but those who are in any kind of relationship. So even if you're still single, hop in and absorb all the nuggets of wisdom you can have!
How to Resolve A Conflict
Deal with anger
Anger is actually a secondary emotion. When you find yourself angry, you have to determine the primary emotions attached to it: fear, guilt, hurt. Our tendency is to look at problems that the other person has caused rather than what we have done wrong. One should deal first with the things/sins he/she did before trying to deal with the sin of the other. Be careful of the destructive behavior of anger: BLAMING or FINDING FAULT on others.
Ephesians 4:26-27 says,
Go ahead and be angry. You do well to be angry -- but don't use your anger as fuel for revenge. And don't stay angry. Don't go to bed angry. Don't give the Devil that kind of foothold in your life.
The next time you are angry, ask this questions:
Why am I angry?
Is this a battle worth fighting for?
What do I want?
Take Turns Talking Without Interruption
Be careful that you should listen to your partner. Take time to process all the things that he/she said before answering back. We are good at defending and justifying ourselves, because our sins blind us or keep us from seeing clearly the real deal. This time the most important thing to have is patience.
Express Understanding
Once he/she is done it's your time to talk. Rather than focusing on many issues, deal with that one issue why you two, in the first place, talk (Girls, do not connect the dots and bring out the past!). "You statements" are a no-no. Never ever shift the blame to the other person or things or even the system.
Wrong Way: I have done it because you...
Better Way: I was hurt when...
Never demand to be understood or to make other person feel guilty. Both of you have flaws and a work in progress. There's always a person at the other end who is tugging the rope. Forgive. Seek to understand the other person was hurt, seek to feel the other person's feeling.
Win-win solution
Remember that the goal is to restore the relationship, not to win the fight. Every couple has its own unique ways to come up with the win-win situation. In our case, what we generally do is to yield to God's ways and surrender our selfish ways to Him. We anticipate the future fights starting with statement, "What should we do if this happen again?" The most important thing to learn during conflicts is your character transformation and you are growing together.
Comments
Post a Comment